just when you need to hear words of encouragement or advice they come. this is why i love the world wide web. thanks to my blogging buddies who know just what to say. : )
here are some excerpts:
GOOP: What does “spent” mean?
Frank Lipman: “Spent” is the word I use to describe people who are overwhelmed, fatigued and feel older than their years. Does this scenario sound familiar? You wake up in the morning groggy and need coffee or something sugary to get going. Then you need more of the same later in the day to keep going. Your brain feels foggy; you’re not sleeping well; your body aches all over; your cold never goes away; and your sex drive is down. You are running on empty, your energy account is tapped out, you are physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted…you are spent. Interestingly, most people think it is normal to feel like this.
ummmm. so it isn’t????
see the newsletter here. i am definitely going to read this one a few times.
and maybe even buy this book.
not that i’m reading 3 others at the moment.
and if you missed it (like me) here is a great newsletter on parenting from two weeks ago.
something that spoke to me from Camila Batmanghelidjh :
What research shows is that in the presence of a caring companion, the calm from the caretaker’s brain can create calm in the child’s brain. Because their brain is not developed fully, very young children will need the adult consistently with them to help them manage emotions and energy. But as the brain develops, the capacity to calm down is “internalized.” The child carries the memories of this ability and can use it to soothe themself when distressed because they remember how the parent did it.
Parents can’t be calm and gentle all the time. You will lose your temper, shout and scream and behave impatiently. But if you apologize and “own the problem” as yours, the child will feel they are not the bad one. They will learn resilience, which, in effect, is the ability to fix bad situations and get the good out of them or transform them into positive outcomes.
tonight we have a toddler, infant, and parent support group for those involved into fost-adopt. i’m really excited to meet others going through the same thing in person. i will let you all know how it goes.