i’ve been feeling somewhat down lately. to see so much suffering right now is just too overwhelming. i know that suffering such as we’ve seen in haiti since the earthquake is, unfortunately, commonplace in so many other areas of the world, but at times it’s just too much to take. i feel, for lack of a better word, guilty.

i have a job, and a good one. i work with kids, have A LOT of freedom to be creative in teaching them, have A LOT of vacation, have health insurance paid for, work with supportive parents.

i have a home, warm and dry and comforting. my solace in times of chaos. we own our home. we have not lost our home likes scores of others.

i have a family. i have a loving and supportive husband, a warm extended family, and little boy whom i cannot imagine life without.

and other things that i have, so often taken for granted…

clean water every day to drink and clean myself with

food. i have the luxury to eat out, to have someone cook for me and serve me occasionally. i sometimes don’t finish what i eat, and therefore waste food. i have, many times, spent $4 on a coffee, when so many others live on less than $1 a day.

clothes and shoes. and the freedom to even choose what i wear based simply on what fancies me at that moment.

money to spend on non-essentials. i spent $4 today on a magazine, a magazine that i didn’t even think twice about buying. simply bought it because i didn’t finish the article i was reading while waiting in line.

i have so much, yet take so much for granted, and this guilt brings me to tears. but it also moves me to take action. i have made humble and small gifts of money. yet it never seems enough. i heard someone say on the news that although the response to help has been overwhelming, that it is in three months, when ambivalence from the outside world is likely to set in, that haitians will really need help. i am scheduling a post three months from now as a reminder to myself, and hopefully you, too, to again contribute to the efforts to help haiti.

my heart literally aches every time i hear about the haitian orphans. i want to bring home 1, 5, 20. to see them makes me hurt. andrew contacted someone involved with haitian adoption. we have not been married long enough to qualify, but have been told that this may change. i can only pray that their plight will bring awareness to the need for adoption. i hope that many will consider adoption, domestically or internationally. i hope that hearing their stories will move people to help 1 of the millions of orphans around the world.

most of all, i pray to God, that He will help me do my best, be my best, and be always, always thankful for what He has given me.



Filed under adoption, me

2 responses to “blue.

  1. Pingback: helping haiti. «

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