the element of surprise.


Did I tell you that I finally made it to my son’s basketball game this weekend?

I think I forgot.

He made a basket, which was a proud moment for this mama, but even funner (yes I know that is not a word and that I teach English, but saying funner is funner), was the element of surprise in meeting the other parents.

You see, husband has been taking the little guy to practice (he is the coach of course) and I missed a game or two for various reasons, one of which little lady wasn’t yet ready for the raucous crowds one encounters in a 3-4 year old basketball league. They are a bit much for anyone, much less someone just two days past her three month mark.

After the second practice I asked husband what he thought the other parents thought about who little guy’s mama might be.

 Well, he said, I think they think my wife is black.

 Or… that I’m a single dad.

 Now I know my man, and I know that he probably pictured little guy’s mama to be Halle (his “freebie” if you will…you and your spouse have one of those right?). But that’s a whole other post, I suppose.

 In our introductions, the other parents looked at me with eyebrows raised in an oh.

Then I introduced them to our newest addition, blue eyed, strawberry blond little lady. Another oh, then cautious questioning as to her habits, as is the norm with any new mother, yes? In some conversations the issue of adoption came up, in others it wasn’t a topic touched upon yet in the polite conversing of first acquaintance.

When little guy first came to live with us I was on high alert for the looks that came our way. Oh, the curious ones I didn’t mind at all. It was the outright staring ones that incensed me.  I noticed EVERYONE looking at us, trying to figure us out. It made me uncomfortable, insecure, sometimes slightly bitter at others’ insensitivity.

Now it’s just interesting…hell, even entertaining, truth be told, to see facial expressions when people try to put the pieces together. It’s like when you have your jigsaw puzzle all figured out, and then, and THEN, shoot…you find a piece in the box that is from ANOTHER puzzle, damn it.

Isn’t it interesting though?  We don’t get those stares anymore.

Or I just don’t care.

Yes, that’s it. I. just. don’t. care.

**our family is: 



j, a.k.a. little guy, star basketball player, surfing aficionado, came to us at 16 months, adopted in february 2010

s, a.k.a little lady, happy, smiley, came to us at 3 days old, waiting to be adopted into our family

**family photos by christian cruz.


Filed under adoption, family, mommyhood

2 responses to “the element of surprise.

  1. jade

    Beautiful pictures of a beautiful almost-complete family. I hope the adoption of little lady goes smoothly so we can see her pretty smiles too!

  2. miranda

    too cute. love your family.

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